Assuage Through Altruism
by mandikm
Summary: It takes Penny seven days to finally make sense of what was always right there in front of her. Or more specifically, "who."   References to 5x11 "The Speckerman Recurrence."
1. Chapter 1

Assuage Through Altruism 1/4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

ANotes: Second attempt at fanfiction. :)

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><p>It started off as an experiment. Amy was the one to initially propose the idea, not the specifics, but the idea nonetheless. After coming to the realization that she was indeed a "bully" in high school, Amy suggested Penny, "assuage her guilt through altruism," which Bernadette kindly interpreted as "feeling better by doing something nice for someone."<p>

The more Penny thought back to the pranks she had pulled in high school, the deeper her heart sunk. What made it worse were the horror stories Bernadette and Amy continued to tell her from their own school days. Yes, they were friends now, but had they all gone to the same school growing up, they would be the ones on the other end of the line when Penny called to apologize for her unacceptable past behavior. Donating some of her clothes was a nice start, but it did little to appease her growing remorse.

A few nights after her acknowledgement that she was a bully in high school, Penny lay sleepless in her bed. It was that night, when she rolled onto her side and caught sight of her Lake House DVD sitting carelessly on her nightstand next to her, when the crazy idea dawned on her.

She was going to "assuage" her guilt through the biggest "altruism" she could possibly think of.

She was going to be nice to Sheldon. No matter what.

No matter how much his wackadoodle behavior annoyed her, or how many jabs he took at her, or even jokes he would unintentionally say at her expense, she vowed she would be nice to him. She would be pleasant, understanding and accepting of him for as long as it took to ease her guilt. Penny thought about the prospect of being nice to Sheldon no matter what, and appreciated the fact that her guilt would probably be eased in less than a week.

So it was settled.

She would forego her own sanity for one week and in turn her nagging guilt will be appeased.

One week of being nice to Sheldon.

She could do it.

Right?

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><p>The first day was easy enough. Sheldon was in an unusually pleasant mood. He had gained a small but acceptable amount of recognition at Caltech, and so accepted a congratulatory day old cheesecake from Penny without a passively aggressive remark. Instead, he smiled one of his rare and warm smiles at her before taking the cheesecake with a genuine, "thank you."<p>

Penny just could not help the way her heart melted when he was like this, or the way her head reflexively tilted a little to the right. He moved to the kitchen while she took a seat on the couch next to Amy whose new title as "Sheldon's girlfriend" awarded her the seat next to his spot. Penny did not mind the change, but she had to admit after years of usually sitting next to him, she had grown quite accustomed.

"Penny?" Amy said, leaning toward her so that their shoulders were touching, "may I inquire something of you?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I know I have missed the first month, but I was only recently enlightened on the topic. Is it a custom to celebrate two months from the conception of a male-female relationship with a substantial endowment?"

Penny eyed her for a moment, her mind trying to process Amy-speak. _Like Sheldon-speak wasn't hard enough_.

"Are you trying to ask if you should get Sheldon something for your two month anniversary?"

"Yes," Amy nodded happily, "I like that we understand one another. So what is your answer?"

"I wouldn't say it's a custom set in stone, but I've known quite a few girls that like to celebrate the month to month anniversaries, at least for the first year of the relationship. But Sheldon would tell you anniversaries are annual and should only be celebrated if at all, only once a year."

"Yes, I received a similar lecture. However, as the girlfriend, I have decided to fulfill the role accordingly. Would you like to accompany me to acquire this item?" Amy asked.

"Of course."

"Yay! More bestie time," Amy exclaimed excitedly, "will tomorrow after work suffice?"

Penny smiled to herself, being nice to Sheldon also meant helping his girlfriend do thoughtful things for him. Her eyes turned toward the kitchen where Sheldon had just finished sorting out where to put the box of cheesecake. He closed the refrigerator door and headed back to the couch, his eyes meeting hers as he did. She noticed a curious recognition in his soft blue eyes as he got closer. Their gazes remained locked as he took a seat in his spot, his face now thoughtful, one eyebrow slightly higher than the other. Penny could tell he was trying to study her, probably wondering why she was staring at him.

Penny was the first to look away, her attention back on Amy, "I'll pick you up tomorrow after work."

She glanced at Sheldon once more, his eyes still on her, before she focused on the conversation that was taking place between Howard and Leonard. The first day was a success. It was also the first day, Penny decided to start taking notes of her daily interactions with Sheldon. It was, after all, an experiment.

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><p>On the second day, she did not see Sheldon till nightfall after she had dropped Amy off at her apartment. She had taken Amy to the comic book store to pick up a gift for Sheldon, something she had instantly regretted when they arrived there. Stuart tried a few times to engage them in small talk, but the conversations were awkward and forced. <em>He was probably still embarrassed and hurt over the whole movie theater incident<em>, Penny mused. However, Amy met his attempts with grace, politely smiling and nodding reassuringly. Penny could not help but smile too. Since the addition of Amy into her life, Penny found it increasingly pleasant to have an actual "bestie." It has been obvious for a while now that Amy's feelings toward Penny mirrored that of a girl crush, but she honestly didn't mind. It was nice to have someone admire her and remind her she was special. _As opposed to constant reminders of my annoying flaws. _Besides, she was probably Amy's first real friend, so of course, Amy would put her on some sort of pedestal, and Penny wasn't about to disappoint her.

Penny encountered Sheldon at the mailbox when she arrived at their apartment building. Like so many times in the past, he stood idly for a moment shuffling through his mail before reaching out to lock the box again. She came up behind him, a bright smile on her face as she reached past him to her box.

He side stepped abruptly, startled by her sudden appearance at his side.

"Penny!" he exhaled, his eyes narrowing.

"Oh, hello, Sheldon," she greeted warmly, turning toward him after locking her box. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?"

"Scare me?" he inhaled a chuckle, "hardly. However, given that your sudden arrival went unannounced, I would appreciate if next time you would _warn_ me in advance."

"Noted," she replied with a hint of mockery. _Play nice, Penny. _

_Oh, but it's too much fun sometimes._

They ascended the stairs together, per usual, Sheldon trailing half a step behind.

"Penny," he spoke when they reached the second floor, "I am aware that you and Amy had an outing this evening. I overheard your conversation last night pertaining to it."

_Damn, his Vulcan hearing._

"Are you mad?" she asked, her nose crinkling.

He shook his head, his brow creasing, his lips in a slight frown, "if by _mad_, you mean, _angry_, then no, I am not. Why would you think so?"

Penny shrugged, "Well, I know how you get about these things…you know, that aren't in the norm of what you're used to. And you have lectured me on the whole anniversary, annual thing."

"Yes, well," he stated as they reached the third floor, "I admit, I am not accustom to this. I believe it to be an outwardly unnecessary social ritual. But I think it best to act the part of boyfriend accordingly. It is, of course, what Amy deserves is it not?"

Her breath caught for a moment, and she instantly wondered why, but she was able to speak nonetheless, timidly replying, "yes, she does."

"So it's agreed then?" He says as they finally reached their landing, "you will pick me up from work before your shift, and we will acquire something presentable for Amy."

Penny's mouth hung open, "huh?"

"You're taking me shopping," he clarified, "if Amy has indeed bought me a gift, it is only customary I give her one in return."

"I guess, but why me?"

His fingers intertwined behind him, his chin lowered as he looked at her through his lashes, "because you are the one that confirmed Amy's nonessential inquiry last night, thus the responsibility falls on you."

"I don't see how it does…" Penny's voice trailed off, she wanted to argue more, but her nagging guilt reared its ugly head again, reminding her of the goal for the week. She quickly shut up, a forced smile now on her face as she spoke, "okay, we'll go shopping tomorrow."

He nodded, quite satisfied with her answer as he turned to open his apartment door. Penny moved toward hers, about to turn the key in the lock when his voice made her slightly jump.

"Leonard, will be home shortly. I request you be punctual tonight, I would like to start on time at least once this month."

_Oh, right, Thai tonight. _"I'll be over in a few, I'm just going to freshen up."

"I hope your reference to _freshen up_ doesn't imply you are planning to take a shower."

Penny shifted her weight, her hand now crossly on her hip, "what if it does?"

"Then I would advise against it. It would cause significant delay in our schedule if we have to wait an hour for you to finish doing so."

"It doesn't take me an hour to shower, Sheldon," she disputed.

"I disagree. Maybe the specific act of taking a shower does not last for a literal sixty minutes, however, you do tend to take quite a considerable amount of time to choose your wardrobe as well as apply facial cream and conduct maintenance to your hair."

Penny sighed, "I'm a girl, Sheldon, what do you want from me? Wait, how do you know I apply facial cream?"

"Because you smell different," he admitted, clearing his throat nervously, and Penny could not help but notice the subtle pink that was now lightly touching his cheeks, "I have noticed that you only have a particular scent on you after you come over to our apartment after a shower. I do not attribute it to your shampoo and conditioner because the fragrance is considerably different. So I assumed you applied something extra at night, then I observed the skin under your eyes, your nose, forehead, chin and cheeks were noticeably more moisturized. After a prolong observation of this occurrence, I have noticed substantial improvement in overall look and texture of your facial features."

Penny smiled, amazed that she actually understood him, "you think I look prettier?"

"Hardly, Penny."

She frowned.

"I mean," he said quickly, "one cannot look _prettier_, if one had not required improvement to begin with." He coughed nervously.

Penny found her head tilting to the right again, her features soft, a small smile playing at her lips. _He is so unintentionally sweet sometimes_. She chooses not to address the implications of his compliment for fear his already reddening cheeks will catch on fire. _Improbable…but not impossible_.

"Okay, fine. I'll be quick this time. I'll be over in ten."

He eyed her knowingly.

"Okay, twenty," she corrected, agreeing with him that there was no way she would make a ten minute deadline.

"Very well," he said, accepting her premise, he turned and entered his apartment.

Penny opened her notebook when she got inside, jotting down a quick note before throwing the book back on her coffee table and hurrying to the shower.

_Sheldon thinks I'm pretty. _

_How is this relevant to the experiment? _

_To be determined._

Her entrance into 4A a half hour later was met with a stern, annoyed expression from the blue eyed physicist. She apologized as she stepped past Raj and Howard to place herself next to him. He rolled his eyes before handing her food to her, and proceeded to press the 'play' button.

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><p>Penny pulled into the Caltech employee parking lot to find an already waiting Sheldon standing in front of his never occupied assigned parking space. She sighed heavily as she pulled up to the curb, glaring at him as he tapped his watch, giving her a half-hearted glare of his own.<p>

_Keep your cool, Penny. It's only day three._

He opened his mouth to speak when he got into the car, but she cut him off, "I know, I know, I'm late. Let's just get this over with."

"I meant to merely offer a hello." He said weakly.

"Oh," she said, guilt immediately washing over her, "sorry." She perked up, offering him a pouty smile, "hi, Sheldon."

"Though, I appreciate the effort, you need not bother with the pleasantries. I know you would prefer to be doing something other than taking me to the mall."

"No, of course not. I'm happy to take you to the mall, sweetie," she assured him, silently still amazed that she could easily follow his unique speak. Maybe not word for word, but she understood the gist of it, that counts for a lot.

The ride to the mall was in majority a quiet one, both listening to the neutral music coming from the Sheldon approved radio station as they sat in comfortable silence. The mall was unusually crowded for a Tuesday when they arrived, and Penny found herself quickly drawn to Macy's big red sale signs like a busy bee to a flower.

A loud 'ahem' behind her, pulled Penny from her trance as she turned to look at Sheldon standing a few feet away, his hands clasped behind his back, and a somewhat amused expression on his face.

"Penny, I am aware you have difficulties suppressing your urge to indulge in needless shoe shopping, but may I _remind you_, we are here to buy a gift for Amy. And our time is limited, your shift starts in an hour."

"Right…Amy…" she said, surveying the surrounding stores with her fingers tapping lightly on her chin, "okay, come on."

Sheldon picked up his stride to catch up with her as she entered into a nearby jewelry store. He frowned when he entered.

"Penny, I hardly think jewelry would be a proper gift."

"Sheldon, trust me, okay? Any girl would love a little jewelry. And need I _remind you_, Amy is a girl," she mirrored his earlier tone, "look around, tell me if you see anything that catches your eye."

They parted, Sheldon moving to look at the bracelets, while the heart shaped necklaces across the room caught Penny's attention. She stood eyeing up a sterling silver necklace with a small simple heart as an older gentleman approached her from behind the counter. He smiled, welcoming her to the store.

"Is there any piece you would like me to hint to your boyfriend about?" He asked grinning, his eyes glancing behind her quickly, before returning to hers.

Penny looked over her shoulder, her gaze falling on Sheldon who stood a few feet away, contemplating the choices in front of him. She turned quickly back to the worker.

She laughed, "oh, no, we're not together."

"Oh?" he said, a little too surprised, for Penny's liking.

"Yeah, we're not. He's actually dating my best friend. We're looking for something for her."

The man nodded, "I see. May I suggest this?" He pulled open the display case, reaching in and pulling out a delicate sterling silver necklace with a heart encrusted with dark blue crystals hanging in the middle of a circular pendant.

Penny took it from him to examine closer, and let out a small gasp, "this is beautiful."

The man smiled approvingly.

Penny turned to where Sheldon was now rubbing the side of his face, apparently deep in thought, "Sheldon," she called over her shoulder, "come over here."

He instantly obeyed, reaching her in a few steps, his expression now twisted with anxiety, "Penny, I find none of these selections to be appropriate."

"What about this one?" She said, lifting the necklace in her hands. He considered it for a moment, his brow creasing. He glanced at the case behind her, and then back at the necklace in her hands. "Well?"

"I prefer the green one," he stated a matter of factly.

"Green? Why green?" Penny asked, her face clearly indicating she favored the dark blue.

"Well, it's the color of..." he stopped himself.

Penny looked up, wondering why he didn't finish. She found herself staring into Sheldon's steady gaze. His expression was one of unsure discomfort, but his clear blue eyes closely studied hers. Penny's eyes widened slightly as she forced herself to not look away, realizing what he was not willing to finish out loud.

Penny frowned, mentally cursing at herself because she knew her cheeks had gone a noticeable shade of pink. She turned to give the necklace back to the waiting man, thanking him politely before quickly moving toward the exit, gesturing for Sheldon to follow her.

She cleared her throat awkwardly, "you're right, nothing here is appropriate."

When Penny got home late that night, she only had one note to write in her journal.

_My eyes are green._


	2. Chapter 2

Assuage Through Altruism 2/4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

ANotes: Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! Very much appreciated. :)

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><p>By the fourth day, Penny realized the past few days have been the most time she has spent alone with Sheldon in months. Tonight, while the boys decided to bail on comic book time in favor of wedding cake tasting for Howard and Bernadette's upcoming nuptials, Penny agreed to go along with Sheldon's strict adherence to his schedule. Thus, she found herself waiting patiently as Sheldon browsed the $1 comic books. She settled near the wall lined with new releases. She picked up one to casually flip through while she peaked over the top of it to study her subject from afar. Sheldon was wearing that horrible beige and brown jacket again, over his Green Lantern t-shirt. After much debate, and Penny's perfected pouting technique, he had reluctantly agreed to walk instead of drive to the comic book store. She argued he needed to breathe fresh air once in a while, and it was a perfectly nice and clear night out to do so. Besides, her check engine light was still on.<p>

The past few days had been relatively easy for her. The whole experiment of being nice to Sheldon and lessoning her own remorse proved to be simple enough. But somewhere along the way, the experiment had been taking on a life of its own. Not only was she noticing him being unusually decent back, he was saying and doing things she had never experienced with him before. Or was it she just never really took the time to notice these things? Making him basically the center of this experiment meant for a closer study of him, and the things that she started to discover both startled her and excited her, she really could not explain it. Maybe she was just overthinking everything, and after this week, it would be back to her normal interactions with her neighbor. But did she really want to go back? Once her eyes were open to this subtle behavior of his, could she really turn a blind eye now?

Penny had to admit though, she missed the bickering and the arguing. Having to be nice to him this week, proved strenuous at times, she having to bite down on her lower lip hard in order to refrain from doing or saying unkind things. She also came to the realization this week, that in the past, she enjoyed getting on his case because she enjoyed the attention he gave her when she did so. And yet, the past few days he still paid attention to her, even without the fighting. Penny let out an unintentional chuckle as she realized she had really been overanalyzing _Sheldon_. Sheldon, her crazy neighbor and friend. _Why am I thinking so much into this? _

"Penny?" Sheldon's voice pulled her from her thoughts. He stood in front of her now, new comic book in a bag dangling from his fingertips as he gave her an annoyed look, "I have said your name repeatedly for the past 30 seconds."

"Sorry, sweetie, you ready to go?"

"Yes."

The boys were back in time for Halo at 8pm with Bernadette and Amy in tow. They took their customary places around Sheldon and Leonard's living area as the first multiplayer round began. Howard agreed to sit out the first round, giving his controller to Penny so that she and Raj could be teammates. She had grown increasingly skilled at the melee/shotgun combination over the years, and proved quite the bother to Leonard who unwisely continued to attempt sneak attacks from behind. Even when he acquired the gravity hammer that was able to blast an opponent back with a single hit, Penny was still able to best him. Once she had her fun with Leonard, she moved on to much more enjoyable prey.

A low growl-like sound escaped Sheldon's lips as he watched his Spartan fly through the air, falling lifeless against a mountainside thanks to one of Penny's plasma grenades.

"Wow, I didn't know they could fly _that_ far," Penny commented, her eyes wide and innocent as she looked at Sheldon. He pursed his lips together and glared back at her through slit eyes.

"That was the match," Leonard sighed watching the TV screen as it returned to the main menu, "I'm out, I've been emasculated by Penny enough for one night." He handed his controller to Howard.

"Nice job, bestie," Amy commented, happily patting Penny's shoulder.

Penny grinned proudly, "why thank you, Amy." She leaned over and reached out a hand to Raj, "give it here, partner."

Raj smiled appreciatively, happily giving her a high five. Sheldon scowled at the briefly adjoining hands in front of him.

"You clearly won because you had Koothrappali and I was stuck with Leonard," Sheldon explained, eyeing Penny who was now raising an eyebrow at him.

"Hey," Leonard protested.

"Leonard, you are my friend, but you lack the skill needed to win a match against Penny."

"Okay, fine," Penny replied, turning to her right, "Howard, switch controllers with me." She turned back to Sheldon, "you take Raj, I'll take Howard…"

"Yesss," Howard whispered quickly, Sheldon shooting him a look.

"…and we'll see if your _theory_ is correct, Dr. Cooper," Penny finished. Yes, she was supposed to be nice to him this week, but this was absolutely too much fun to not be had. She could always add an extra day to her be-nice-to-Sheldon-week to make up for today.

"This is hardly the way to obtain accurate results, Penny," Sheldon argued, "Howard is clearly a better player than Leonard."

"Hey, thanks, Sheldon," Howard said sincerely.

"Though, not by much," Sheldon added, Howard frowned.

They played two more rounds. Penny and Howard won both. At the end of the night, shortly after Howard, Raj, and Bernadette left, Sheldon put in his Final Fantasy VII Advent Children DVD. Leonard, after the initial defeat and a reminder from Sheldon that he was the worst player of the group, took refuge in his room to sulk. All that remained was Penny, Amy, and Sheldon sitting side by side on the couch. Penny thoroughly enjoyed whatever it was they were watching, even admitting she found the lead character oddly attractive, for being computer-animated and all. Or maybe it was because Steve Burton and all his sexiness was the voice actor for the part.

Half way through the movie, Amy announced it was time for her to leave. Penny turned her head to say something, but the words died in her throat. She watched as Amy leaned over toward Sheldon. He turned his head just in time for the unexpected attack on his lips. The kiss was quick, and fleeting, Amy pulling back immediately after their lips touched. Penny's eyes never left Sheldon's, whose blue ones pierced hers the whole time. She could not explain the look in his eyes or the growing pit now in her stomach.

Amy's face remained close to his when she pulled away. Only when she spoke, Sheldon's eyes shifted to hers. He swallowed, and nodded as she told him they would talk later. Amy turned and patted Penny's knee.

"Night, bestie," Amy said, standing and taking her leave.

"Good night, Amy," Penny replied hoarsely, her eyes following the neurobiologist to the door. She waited till the door clicked close behind Amy, before turning to look at Sheldon again. He was staring intently at the TV screen now, both hands weighing heavily on the top of his knees.

"I didn't know you guys were…" she started, stopping only because she really didn't know what to say, or if she wanted to be saying anything at all. All Penny knew was, the air in the room was suddenly very thick and growing quite warm, "…kissing now." She reluctantly finished.

"Our contract clearly states otherwise," he said, "however, much to my chagrin, Amy has chosen to disregard the section completely, and thus, I have observed an increase in physical contact from her."

"So how you liking all the physical contacting?"

Sheldon eyed her, "your muddling of English grammar never ceases to astound me."

Penny smiled in spite of herself.

"And to answer your question. I suppose, I don't mind," he shrugged casually, his eyes still on the TV screen.

She cannot explain it, but her smile disappears, and her heart flutters painfully. From the corner of her eye, she swears he is now looking at her.

Penny scribbles unceremoniously that night.

_Amy is my best friend._

_Amy is Sheldon's girlfriend._

_Sheldon doesn't mind kissing (CROSS OUT)  
><em>

_Sheldon doesn't mind kissing Amy._

_I saw him first (CROSS OUT)  
><em>

_AMY IS MY BEST FRIEND._

_Why am I doing this? (CROSS OUT)  
><em>

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><p>Penny decided on the fifth day she was allowed a break from the experiment. Besides, while at first she was able to deny that her view of Sheldon had definitely been evolving over the course of the last four days, by day five, she no longer had the willpower to do so. Thus, she proceeded to lock herself up in her apartment, more specifically she wrapped herself in her comforter and refused to move from her bed, only doing so when nature irritatingly beckoned her to the bathroom. Sleep eluded her the night before, and she was reminded why when she glanced at the open notebook lying on the ground next to her bed. She scanned her notes from last night, again feeling an unexplainable dread creep across her skin. <em>What is happening to me?<em> She could not wrap her mind around the implications of this onset of melancholy because the idea in itself was just too out there for her.

She thought back to last night, replaying Amy's parting actions and Sheldon's last words to her. _He doesn't mind kisses from Amy…his girlfriend. _When did that happen? When did Sheldon Lee Cooper, the brilliant scientist she has known for over five years, become this kissing machine? Okay, maybe not a kissing machine, or wait, maybe he was still a robotic machine. He did not seem particularly invested in the kiss, no matter how quick, nor did his eyes close which is only a natural occurrence when one enjoys the feeling of another's lips. She could not decipher the look in his eyes, and the reasoning as to why those eyes were looking straight into hers. Her eyes, and not Amy's. _Stop thinking about his damn eyes_! She blinked back impending tears as she rolled to her other side, pulling the comforter tightly around her. _This is ridiculous, it's Sheldon!_

By six, she finally decided she was way too hungry to continue her pity party and slowly moved from her bedroom to the kitchen, comforter still wrapped around her. She opened her fridge, disappointed when she found only a half carton of day old orange juice. She closed it with a heavy sigh, as she moved to plop herself down on the couch. That's when his knocks came.

After his last round concluded, she still had not moved from her position. With a creased brow, she contemplated whether to just remain silent and hope he would just go away. But then she pictured him standing behind the door waiting in one of his little nerdy T Shirts, eager to tell her whatever news recently presented itself, and her features softened. She thought for a few seconds. _Oh, curse him and his kissing lips_. Penny threw the comforter off her shoulders and practically stomped to the door, hating with every step the fact that he made her feel all these conflicting emotions. _It's Sheldon, dammit! Shellllldon. Whatever these feelings are, they so should not be because of him._

"What Sheldon?" She scowled when she flew open the door. She was met with wide blue eyes.

"Penny," he gasped, obviously startled by her tone, "have you only now woken up?"

Penny ignored the heat inching its way over her cheeks at the full body scan he gives her, and shifted her weight to her other leg, "what do you want, Sheldon?"

"I formally request your attendance this evening," he said, straightening, his hands moving to do their usual hold behind his back, "I find myself once again in need of a ride to my date with Amy Farrah Fowler."

_No freakin way._

"Ah, sweetie, I don't think that's a good idea. I only went last time because it was your first date. Tonight's your anniversary, I don't think I should intrude."

"As I recall, Penny, you accompanied me on my first date because I needed a ride. I need one again."

"Yes, I understand that and I'm telling you no."

Her stomach growled, uncomfortably breaking the looming silence.

Sheldon crossed his arms over his chest, "have you eaten today?" Penny caught the hint of concern in his tone, though his face remained vacant. _Great, now I'm reading into his every word._

She opened her mouth to give him a definite 'yes' but hesitated when she met his raised eye brow. She hated not being able to lie to him right now.

"So that settles it," he said.

"No, it doesn't," she protested.

"Penny, we have found ourselves in a favorable situation where both parties seek to benefit. I receive a ride to my date, and you receive a meal. I fail to see the flaw in this course of action."

She was starting to get annoyed, and she knew it was mostly due to the fact that he was the source of all her recent internal conflict. Suddenly, she had no care to be nice and by dubbing today an experiment free day she was not bound by the parameters of it, "the flaw, Sheldon, is I don't want to go. Do you not remember how uncomfortable I was last time? How I didn't speak to you for a week after that?"

His face twisted, "I was unaware you had an issue last time."

"Really?" She spat, "calling me a slut wouldn't cause me to have an 'issue?'"

"I did no such thing," he was clearly offended by her last remark as his fingers curled into fists, his arms remaining crossed over his chest.

Penny waved a hand in front of them, suddenly regretting bringing this topic into conversation, "never mind about that," she said softly, "look, I just…I don't want to go, Sheldon. That's the end of it."

Her stomach growled again.

"Apparently, your tummy disagrees," he pointed out, his eyes bright, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. He waited, his eyes patient and thoughtful as he looked at her, his gaze unwavering.

_Tummy? Stop being annoyingly cute. _Penny sighed, knowing when she has lost. Conquered by the unwanted flutters her heart makes as her eyes linger too long on his bottom lip, she drops her head in a mock defeat.

"Fine!" Penny scuffed at him, pulling open the door to let him in, "wait in here, I'll go change."

He complied, throwing her a quick satisfied smile.

"Oh, don't look so _pleased_ with yourself," she warned him, "I'm only doing this cause I'm starving."

Sheldon took a seat on her couch as she marched to the bedroom, dramatically slamming the door behind her. She collapsed on to her bed, face first, emotionally exhausted. After a few seconds she slowly rolled over to her back, trying to mentally psyche herself up for the night ahead. _Here we go._

Dinner was quiet for the most part, Sheldon and Amy only addressing each other to discuss their visit to the zoo last week. Penny sat between them like last time, and doing the least amount of talking she possibly could. Before the food arrived however, she suggested maybe they exchange gifts. This was part of the night she had actually been looking forward to. Being there with both of them while they purchased their respective gifts gave Penny a unique opportunity to see her handy work first hand. To her mild surprise, Sheldon agreed to her proposal.

He was the first up, reaching for the gift bag on the ground next to him, he handed it across the table to an excited Amy. She pulled away the tissue paper, revealing a white box with a picture of a familiar former heavy weight boxing champion.

"A George Foreman grill!" Amy practically cheered.

Sheldon nodded approvingly at her reaction, "yes, well, Penny reminded me that you have always wanted one for yourself. I agreed with her assertion."

Amy, still with a wide smile on her face, reached over and touched Sheldon's hand affectionately. Penny's eyes lingered a moment too long on their adjoining hands, and again, knots started to form in her stomach. _Look away, Penny, look away now._

"Okay, my turn," Amy announced, reaching for the gift bag next to her and handing it to Sheldon.

He carefully removed the tissue paper from the top, and stopped once his eyes fell on his gift. Penny, whose eyes intently studied his face, tried to read the expression there. Sheldon seemed to go through a range of them, his jaw flexing, his eyes unblinking. He pulled out the content, a limited edition Batman nightlight. His eyes immediately went to Penny, who smiled back at him.

"Do you like it?" Amy asked, like Penny, she was unable to interpret if he was satisfied or disappointed with her gift.

"We saw it a few weeks ago on comic book night, remember?" Penny started, trying to help Amy get a more readable reaction out of him, "Captain Sweat Pants got the last one. I remember how disappointed you were so I told Stuart to contact me when a new shipment came in. Luckily, it came right in time for Amy to get you one." She smiled at Amy who returned it with a wink.

"Yes," he started, clearing his throat, "this is acceptable. Thank you, Amy."

"You are welcome."

Penny remained uneasy. Sheldon's reaction was nothing like she expected. She thought he would be overjoyed to receive the nightlight. She recalled how his face lit up when he first saw it across the store, and how sad his pouting lower lip looked when Captain Sweat Pants snatched the last one. He had spent the entire walk home that night complaining about the likelihood that Captain Sweat Pants would not truly appreciate such a thing as Sheldon would. She pushed the thoughts aside when the food arrived because nothing else warranted attention more than the full rack of BBQ ribs she had ordered. Before touching her meal, Amy excused herself to the restroom. In her absence, Sheldon expressed apparent delight over the fact that the day landed conveniently on an Anything Can Happen Thursday which made his one month anniversary agreeable with his schedule.

Penny snorted into a rib she had been chewing on at his observation, gaining a warning look from him. She feigned innocence, her eyes wide and humorous, her lips curved into a teasing smile. A smile which fell immediately when she noticed his eyes move from hers and down to her mouth. Before her mind could process what he intended to do with the unused napkin he had picked up from its spot next to her plate, Sheldon reached over and wiped the corner of her mouth, delicately lingering for a moment, making sure all traces of BBQ sauce was dealt with.

He pulled back, placing her napkin in the exact spot he took it from and nonchalantly turned back to his own plate.

"You may want to be cautious, Penny. You _are_ wearing white," he said coolly, his eyes still downcast.

"Thanks…" Penny uttered, barely coherent. _What the hell was that?_

The ride home was silent that night. Penny barely even acknowledging Sheldon as they parted ways between their apartments. She quickly changed into her pajamas before picking up her notebook and falling onto her bed.

_ I am going crazy._

_ And he is so the reason._


	3. Chapter 3

Assuage Through Altruism 3/4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

ANotes: Again, thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! Very much appreciated. :)

AN2: This story has been from Penny's POV because I wanted to show her subtle realizations regarding Sheldon, but with that being said, the last part will definitely present a peek into Sheldon's head as well. At least I hope it will. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

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><p>Penny dreaded the sixth day only because it landed on a Friday and she had forgotten completely the last time she had not spent Chinese Food and Vintage Game Night with the boys. Her attendance was expected or as Sheldon would say <em>mandatory, <em>especially for the food part. She looked at her watch when she got home from work, the boys would be home in a little over thirty minutes so that left her just enough time to take a quick shower and make herself presentable.

An hour later, Penny found herself sitting on the edge of her bed, a bag of ice resting lazily on her left foot and a Sheldon knocking at her door. He said her name with both patience and annoyance, a tone only he could pull off. A tone he had gradually perfected since the day they met.

She hesitated only a moment, "come in!"

Sheldon was through the door instantly, "Penny you are late," he declared, his eyes scanning her empty living room.

"I'm in here, Sheldon," she summoned. He closed the door behind him as he made his way to her bedroom. Penny smiled when he entered, the frustration on his face and lecture on the tip of his tongue immediately melting away when he surveyed the bag of ice on her foot.

"It appears you are in some sort of distress," he said quietly.

"Yeah," Penny looked down at her foot, "I was getting out of the shower and I twisted it."

"Your ankle?"

"No, my elbow. Yes, my ankle."

Sheldon rolled his eyes, "I only asked because you are clearly not icing your ankle. It appears you are more likely icing your toes."

"Really? Cause the whole thing feels numb."

"Furthermore, you are supposed to elevate your foot," he let out an exasperated sigh, apparently annoyed at the fact that she did not know such basic knowledge, "here…"

He moved quickly, somewhat gracefully, taking a seat next to her on the bed and carefully reaching down to her left foot. He lifted it off the ground slowly, Penny swallowed as she helped, swinging her leg so that it was now resting on Sheldon's right knee. _Thank goodness I put on underwear, _Penny thought as she grabbed a pillow from behind her to place on her lap. After he made sure she was in a comfortable position, Sheldon reached past her leg to grab the ice pack from the ground, his forearm brushing across the exposed skin of her lower thigh. Goosebumps broke across Penny's skin, and every fiber in her being fought her instinct to grab his face and show him what a Big Ol Five was capable of doing.

He examined her slightly swollen ankle as he placed the small towel she was using for the ice pack on his knee so that her foot was resting on it. He brought the ice pack down where it was supposed to be and finally met her eyes.

"I don't understand how one can _slip_ even with the adhesive bunnies I placed in the tub three years ago."

"No, those worked," Penny assured him, "I fell when I got _out_ of the tub, I forgot to grab a towel before jumping in and floor tiles are apparently slippery too."

"That is what bath rugs are for."

"Yes, but my bath rugs don't cover every square foot."

"Point," he uttered, before adding softly, "then it is apparent you just need to be more careful."

"Yes, I'll do that," she said with obvious condescension, wanting to pick a fight rather than let it sink in that he admitted to actually caring about her well-being. To her surprise he did not reply, instead letting a cold silence fall upon the room. Sheldon's eyes remained downcast, focused on the task at hand while Penny's roamed over his entire person.

He was slightly hunched over her foot, carefully adjusting the ice, making sure it was in an optimal position. Penny watched the muscles in both his neck and jaw flex a few times, she found it both fascinating and oddly comforting. _This feels almost normal. _Her eyes landed on his fingers, long and delicate as they held her foot and ice pack in place. She watched with lips slightly parted as his right thumb made slow circles on the skin right above her ankle. Penny let out a soft sigh, _if only he knew what he did to me._

"I took the liberty of placing your food in our fridge to keep it from spoiling," he said, breaking the increasing tension Penny had building up. Had she really been checking out Sheldon for the past five minutes?

"Thank you," she swallowed.

"We're going to play Super Mario 3."

"Is that the one you throw radishes or the one Mario gets all puffy and floats around?"

"Neither, it's the one with the warp whistles," he explained, a smile at the corner of his lips, "…or magic flutes as they have more commonly been identified."

She nodded, "sounds fun."

"Are you ready to come over now? You may eat while we play. You can join when you are finished."

"But Sheldon," she weakly protested, gesturing at her icing ankle.

"You can continue to ice it in our apartment and later I can wrap it properly," he offered, his eyes round and innocent and Penny found her head titling again. _Snap out of it, Penny!_ And so she did, her head straightening as she tore her eyes from his. It was so easy for her to get lost in those pools of blue. She sighed again, telling herself he was only adamant about having her over because it was what his schedule dictated. His unbending, relentlessly organized schedule. _But he's always adjusted his schedule for you_, her heart whispered. _Only because the alternative was a threat of physical violence, _her brain reminded.

"I think I'll just stay here."

"Oh good lord, Penny," he huffed, "you have once again pulled me into a situation in which I cannot just simply walk away. If I had not come over and found your inadequate use of an ice pack, you may have..."

"…lost my foot?" She finished cheerfully, grinning at him.

He rolled his eyes again, "…been in far more discomfort later tonight."

"So you're saying, instead of staying right here comfortably icing my foot, the more _logical_ choice is to go over to _your_ apartment where on the way there, I could aggravate my ankle even more?"

"That is not an issue," he countered, regaining his composure.

"It's not?"

"No."

"No?" she repeated, unsure where this line of conversation was leading.

"No. Now what is your decision?"

Penny shrugged, weighing her options for just a moment before looking at him shyly through her lashes, "well, I am a little hungry."

"All right then," he nodded, and suddenly, he was moving over on the bed, his shoulder pressing against her arm. He quickly adjusted his right arm around her back, with his left he handed her the icepack and towel.

"What—," she did not know how to react, let alone what to say.

"Hold this," he commanded, taking a second to make sure she had a secure hold on the items. He shifted even closer, his left forearm now moving under both her knees. Her left arm naturally moved, wrapping around his back, her fingers lightly gripping his left shoulder.

"Sheldo—," his name died on her lips as she finally made sense of what he was trying to do. Before she could protest or even wrap her brain around a coherent thought Sheldon lifted her into his arms. Paying close mind to her injured foot he made his way out of the room. Penny could not close her mouth even if every cell in her brain told her to do so, she was completely dazed. On pure reflex, she laced her fingers together over his left shoulder. Her eyes remained wide as she just stared at him, astounded that he was actually carrying her. She had been carried like this before by previous boyfriends, but they all had been regulars at the gym, not a tall, lanky super nerd. Then, as they reached the door, Sheldon's voice instantly replayed in her mind, _when you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. _And damn, if they weren't.

"Penny, you'll need to get the door," Sheldon said, momentarily pulling her from her thoughts. He turned their bodies so that she could easily reach down to the door knob. When they exited her apartment, he hooked his foot behind the door to pull it closed behind them. _That was so hot. _

It only took a few steps to reach his apartment door, but Penny's mind raced. The Penny from a week ago would not have cheeks burning crimson or think of the implications of an action like this, hell, the Penny from a week ago would not be completely enamored by this knight in shiny red and yellow Flash shirt armor, and she most definitely would not be so incredibly turned on to the point of utter distraction. She finally admitted to herself, in those few seconds it took for them to reach his front door, that yes, she had feelings. And hell yes, they were for Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper.

Penny turned the knob to his apartment door as he again side stepped to fit them both through the doorway. The boys, who she had downright forgot existed since Sheldon lifted her off her bed, all turned to them in unison. It was almost comical, each mouth dropping one after another, all pairs of eyes wider than she had ever seen them.

"What—," Howard was the first to regain some sort of composure, but whatever question he intended to speak fell from his lips.

"Don't ask," Penny told him, trying to be as casual as possible given the current sight of her in Sheldon's arms. How does one really explain being carried into 4A by the quirky beautiful minded, emotionally handicapped, germaphobe who prided himself on his lack of physical contact with other members of the human race? There is no such explanation, at least not one that would not lead to an unfavorable line of questioning.

Leonard, who literally had to shake his head to clear his thoughts, was the first to notice her swollen foot.

"What happened? You okay?" He asked, and Penny smiled at him, grateful that his concern for her was probably the only thing that could trump his need to know what the hell she was doing being carried around by Sheldon of all people.

"Twisted it," she explained as Sheldon stepped past Leonard and proceeded to lower her to the ground. Penny hopped into place once her feet touched the ground, reclaiming her spot next to his. She adjusted herself so that her foot was resting on the coffee table in front of her. Sheldon took the towel and ice pack from her, placing them in their proper positions around her foot. When he was satisfied, he moved to the kitchen to heat up her food.

Sheldon had not said a single word since arriving back in the apartment with Penny in his arms like some famed hero straight out of a comic book. As he patiently waited for Penny's food to heat in the oven, the boys continued to glance from him to Penny who was sitting quietly on the couch, her hands folded neatly on her lap.

From the corner of her eye, Penny saw Raj whispering in Howard's ear and Howard nodding while mouthing a barely audible, "yeah I'll ask…"

"Okay, what the hell, Penny?" Howard spoke softly, shifting away from Raj and leaning in to her right side. Leonard and Raj on cue, also leaned in closer from their respective spots.

"What?" She said, turning to look at him with wide innocent green eyes.

"Leave it alone, Howard," Leonard said half-heartedly. Penny appreciated the effort, but she knew all too well Leonard was not immune to wanting a reasonable explanation.

"Don't what me, you know what," Howard scolded, ignoring Leonard entirely, "setting aside _why_ and the fact that he was actually _able_ to lift you…"

"Hey, I'm not _that_ heavy…"

"…aside from that, you _let_ him?" Howard finished, clearly confused.

"He basically kidnapped me, okay?" She did her best to defend her actions, "I didn't have a choice in the matter."

"Oh, there's always a choice, Penny, especially when it comes to you," Howard replied, "you never let him get away with crap like this."

She opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself. It was futile, Howard was right. The Penny that they knew, the Penny from a week ago would have put her foot down, twisted or not, she would not have let Sheldon carry her across the hall, but to be fair, neither her or the boys thought it was even physically possible for him to do so. But point remained, the old Penny would have made him bring the Chinese food over to her apartment. Whereas, the new and debatably improved Penny, allowed unexpressed feelings to cloud her better judgment.

"Well, I was hungry, and food takes priority over dealing with Sheldon's nonsense," she finally spoke, silently praying Howard would just be satisfied with that and let it go. He stared at her curiously for a few lingering seconds before shaking his head and turning back to the TV screen where it was his turn to play.

Penny let out a sigh of relief and also turned her eyes to the TV screen as Sheldon arrived with her food in hand. She uttered a quick thanks to which he simply nodded, quietly taking his place next to her. The rest of the night was a blur. After Howard and Raj had left and Leonard hesitantly retiring to his room, Penny found herself once again alone with Sheldon. They did not speak as he wrapped her ankle vigilantly, careful not to cause her any discomfort. Penny did all in her power to keep her thoughts pure as she watched his steady hands at work.

And though he timidly offered to carry her back, Penny regretfully declined, knowing too much physical contact with him was doing her sanity no favors. However, as she exited his apartment, her insides filled with a warmth she had never experience before as she noticed he was waiting patiently at his front door, watching her limp slowly to hers, making sure she got home safe. She refused to look back at him as she closed the door behind her, leaning against it, completely drained.

A few tears slipped from her eyes that night as she wrote.

_How can I even look at Amy now?_

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><p>The seventh and final day proved to be the loneliness Penny had felt in a while. She cleaned her entire apartment to keep herself busy and her thoughts on anything but the oblivious scientist across the hall. After her apartment was spotless she moved on to her laundry. Her ankle felt much better, but she made her way down the stairs slowly anyway. Besides she wanted to get her laundry done before Sheldon did his later that evening, and she knew her ankle would lengthen her allotted time.<p>

Penny flipped through her notebook as she sat waiting for her clothes to wash. Not only did she write her daily thoughts on the experiment, she included Sheldon as well as her own reactions to the various interactions the two shared over the course of the week. Of course, every instance was open for interpretation, she had no clue how he really felt. Up until last night she did not even know for sure of her own feelings. Heck, she was still trying to convince herself that him carrying her across the hall last night had really happened. It was like she strayed into a dream, one in which her curiosity of the feel of having her arms wrapped around him was finally satisfied. The boy was more toned than he looked.

The past week had been like having an absurd addiction. She was in denial at first, not even willing to entertain the possibility that she harbored more than friendly feelings for him. Then it began to gradually sink in, till she finally accepted the fact that she had a problem. _The problem of being in love with someone I shouldn't have fallen in love with_.

_In love? _

_Really?_

And now, she had to work on overcoming the problem, and she had no clue where to start. One thing was for certain, she regretted doing such a stupid experiment to begin with because she felt a guilt ten times worse than she originally had. Yet, it was a different type of guilt. It was a guilt stemming from betraying her 'bestie' by realizing too late, something that was probably there the entire time, but she was too foolishly blind and stubborn to comprehend it. Or she refused to. Either way, the outcome remained the same, she wanted someone she definitely could not have. Not now, not after Amy. Classic. Such a Penny thing to do, not making a move when she had the chance.

She regarded the blank page in front of her while she tapped the tip of her pen on her chin. She was planning on avoiding him at all costs today so it was a good time as any to conclude her findings for the week. _Conclude them, and never address them again. _Besides, they were out playing paintball so chances of running into him were slim. Her thoughts proceeded to the likelihood of Sheldon and Amy's relationship lasting longer than a few more months and the more she considered it, the more she understood the hopeless situation she had unintentionally placed herself in. Sheldon and Amy were perfect together, compatible in every sense of the word.

Penny cursed at herself as her vision blurred while staring at the page below. Her hand slightly trembled as she wrote, the pen only lightly moving across the paper.

_Options on how to proceed:_

_ -Tell Sheldon how I feel (CROSS OUT)_

_ -Be miserable (CROSS OUT)_

_ -Move back to Nebraska (CROSS OUT)_

_ -Move back to Nebraska and be miserable._

She let out a soft laugh, void of humor, as she wiped a stray tear. Moving back to Nebraska had not crossed her mind till now, but she saw no other way out of this. Yes, she could be _that_ girl and actively try to steal her best friend's boyfriend, whether or not she would be successful she would never know, it was simply not in her. She respected them, loved them too much to do something like that. She realized she loved them all, a ridiculously intelligent group of friends that had no right to capture her heart the way they had. One in particular that had no right to have stolen it. Penny forced a smile, thinking if their lives were a comic book, her group of friends could either make the most unlikely team of heroes or the scariest bunch of super villains. Like Sheldon had mentioned years ago, it was a common trend for villains to have Dr. in front of their names.

_-Move back to Nebraska and be miserable. (CROSS OUT)_

It was a silly thought, she could never leave them, especially for purely selfish reasons. Penny continued to scribble unconsciously for the next, she loses track of time. A few hours later she made her way slowly back to her apartment, feeling less than adequate. When she got home she did not bother to put away her clean clothes, simply throwing the laundry basket next to her closet and curling up on the bed for a nap. Sleeping was the only way to escape as long as she did not dream of him, but knowing Sheldon he was going to occupy those as well.

Penny did not stir till a little after 10 that night. She moved trancelike to her kitchen after realizing she had not eaten anything all day. To her relief there was a single cup of noodle left in her pantry. After boiling water and mixing it in with the noodles she relaxed into her couch to eat. She felt slightly better after sleeping.

_Holy crap on a cracker! _Penny's mind screamed as she jerked up right on the couch, almost losing grip of the cup of noodle in hand. _I left my notebook in the laundry room! _She clumsily placed the cup of noodle on the coffee table before making a mad dash to the door_. Oh, god, please don't let him see it. Please don't let him have seen it! _ She repeated in her mind, only because entertaining the thought of him actually reading her notebook might be enough to break her completely.

She swung her door open and immediately stopped short at the figure standing there at the ready to knock, her eyes widened and her breathing ceased as she stared into those beautiful blue eyes.

"Sheldon," she gasped, knowing she must have looked like a crazy person, her hair up in a messy ponytail, oversized Huskers T shirt just barely covering past her bottom. In her haste, she had not even stopped to consider a) she had no pants and b) she was barefoot, except for the wrap still on her left foot. She suddenly felt naked, but that thought fell into the abyss when her eyes traveled from his down to the item gripped so firm in his hands that his knuckles were white.

_Oh, god._

"I believe this is yours," he said hoarsely, unsure of himself.

She continued to stare at the notebook, her breathing deep and unsteady. What could she say? The words did not come, her mind was blank. How does she explain? Why had she not come up with an emergency plan to deal with this type of situation? Years of knowing Sheldon, his habit of planning out and being prepared for every possible life scenario should have at least rubbed off on her a little, right?

"You…you didn't…read it, did you?" She is surprised she can even speak. She is surprised she is still standing at all.

After a few painful seconds, he replied softly, "I did."

_That's it then. I'm dead._

Penny slumped, her face falling into her hand as she closed her eyes. This was the single most embarrassing moment of her life, hands down. There was and never will be any that would compare to it. If someone were testing if it was possible to literally die of embarrassment, this would be the perfect opportunity to do so. However, much to her dismay she was still breathing, though erratically, and still standing in front of a man who could make all her dreams come true as easily as he could rip them to shreds. And she had no one to blame but herself, she had given him that power.

"Penny, I think we should discuss…"

"No," she retorted, her senses snapping back. She was not going to do this.

"No?"

"No. Forget it," she told him, knowing it was pointless to tell someone with an eidetic memory to forget anything. She reached out and grabbed her notebook, basically tearing it from his grasp. She hugged it tightly to her own chest, "thank you, now please leave."

"Penny," he exhaled sharply and she forced herself to look up at him.

"I can't, Sheldon," she breathed, shaking her head, "please, just go."

She stepped back and moved to close the door. His hand shot out to stop her, fingers firm on the door frame, elbow holding open the door. She could tell even he was surprised by his actions. Penny let the door fall open again, but her hand remained on the door knob. He stood there, and Penny could tell he was mentally debating what to do or say in this type of situation. Her emotions were beginning to overwhelm her, they were making her physically weak, unable to resist the urge to see this conversation through.

She bit her lower lip as they just stared at one another. He opened his mouth a few times to speak, but nothing came out. _Tell me it's me. Tell me it has always been me._ Slowly, and against her will, her body betrayed her. A tear escaped her eye and she made no move to wipe it away. Subconsciously, she wanted him to see how much this was hurting her right now, but she knew his ability to read facial expressions was still only sub par. This display of emotion could go over his head completely. However, as she looked at him, she caught his bottom lip trembling ever so slightly before he regained composure. _Look at what you do to me, you selfish, infuriating, stupid, stupid boy._

"Penny…" he whispered with a tenderness she had never heard before.

She instantly softened, "yes?"

She waited, and right there in front of her, she witnessed his control, his self-preservation fail him. She was taken aback as his face twisted into a mask of anguish. It lasted only seconds before he blinked and licked his dry lips, his mind taking back control. She held her breath, she had not thought it possible for his delicate features to ever show so much emotion, even if it was fleeting, it was there. His eyes stared back at her, somewhat pleadingly now.

"I am…truly…sorry," is all he said.

Penny's own lip trembled now, as she nodded. So that was it. He chose Amy.

"Good night, Sheldon," she said weakly, looking away from him as she moved to close the door again.

This time he did not fight her.


	4. Chapter 4

Assuage Through Altruism 4/4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

ANotes: Well, this story turned into a hot mess. I struggled so much with this last part. When I first started writing this story I had no clue how I would conclude it. I honestly debated to just leave it unfinished, but I knew I didn't have the heart to. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy, sorry if it's not up to par with previous chapters, this one's a lot more dialogue driven. Like I already said, this was a struggle for me to get through. Good or bad, let me know what you guys think. Thank you for the support and reviews throughout this story, I appreciate it immensely. *hugs*

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><p>Immediately after Penny closed the door on Sheldon, she marched to her room, grabbed the first duffle bag she came across and started packing to move back to Nebraska. She <em>literally<em> packed, grabbing at random clothes and items around her bedroom for an agonizing five minutes before collapsing in a messy heap of curses and tears. That is when, her untouched celebration shot glasses her sister had gifted her before she left Nebraska all those years ago, came to mind. It was meant to be used with friends after her success as a real actress was solidified, but that day never came. _It probably never will_, she had told herself.

Now an hour later, Penny found herself on the floor, sprawled limply in the narrow space between her sofa and coffee table. She had never felt more pathetic in her life. On the table was a line of five empty shot glasses she took the liberty to retrieve from the back of her closet because special shot glasses were appropriate for special occasions of self-loathing. She had started off her first few shots with a little drinking game. For every tear that rolled down her cheek, she took a shot. She vaguely remembered her first line of tequila let alone the second one she had just finished. _Isn't this just typical of me? Penny, the pitiful drunk._

She was sad and miserable, but she was also angry as hell. She had promised herself after Kurt that she would not let her heart be stomped on again. Not even with Leonard had she opened herself up so completely than she had with Kurt. He was her first real relationship and though she may have thought at the time she loved him, she realized she had actually loved the idea of being in love.

Now the idea of love had manifested itself into a reality, into a single person, a beautiful minded genius, who was the unlikeliest of recipient but Penny knew, the most deserving. And the fact that he did not return something she fought for so long not to feel for another person, it damn near killed her. It saddened her to think of the upcoming days, weeks, months, probably even years, having to see Sheldon with someone else, but it also infuriated her that she allowed herself to fall so hard. She was so angry she was not sure whether her tears were because she could not have him or because she wanted him in the first place.

_I shouldn't be doing this to myself._

Penny knew there was an end in sight. She knew heartache and loneliness were passing phases in life. She had her fair share, but she could not deny that it was different this time. It was Sheldon. There was no one else on the planet like him, something the guys would tell her was proof there was a God. She remembered the time after Kurt, on her first day, during her first steps into her new life, her new apartment, the first meeting that would change her life completely. The day she met them. The day she met _him_. And whatever apprehensions and troubles she had, they gave her the strength to move on. Over the years, she carved her way into every aspect of their lives, and the only one against it from the beginning was the very one she fell for. What were the chances? _He would probably calculate them if I asked._

She rolled over to her side, and let out a long sigh. She blinked, her eyes painfully dry and reddening. An alert tone from her cell phone on the coffee table once again startled her. It was the seventh text message alert in the past half hour. Like the previous ones, Penny ignored it, she was exhausted, both physically and emotionally drained. She wondered how her life came to this point. A week ago she was content. Sure she had a minor problem with remorse over her past actions, but she had not succumbed to a tragic bundle of emotional turmoil. _I should ask Leonard if I could borrow his Alanis Morissette CDs. _She smiled weakly at the thought as her eyes began to drift shut, ready for the dark to claim her.

It was half past midnight when a chorus of desperate knocks on the door woke her. She woke in a daze, her breathing held as Sheldon's face instantly made its way back into her head. She felt her lip trembling again as a new onset of tears threatened, but another voice pierced the silence instead.

"Penny," the familiar voice beckoned urgently, "Penny, are you there?"

_It was only a matter of time._

Penny cursed under her breath as she moved slowly, her mind still in a daze. She used the coffee table as leverage to pull herself into an upright position. Still seated on the floor, she reached toward the doorknob, her finger tips brushing against it a few times before they were finally able to turn it and pull the door open. She let her hand fall to her side as she braced herself up with the other arm.

Amy poked her head around the door, her eyes hesitantly scanning the living room before falling onto Penny's shrunken form behind the door. She squeezed herself into the apartment and closed the door behind her. She knelt next to Penny and helped adjust her so that her back was now resting against the front door.

"Are you hurt?" Amy asked, her face a mask of concern as she too leaned against the door, their shoulders lightly touching.

Penny turned her head to look at her friend and nodded, "yes," she said hoarsely, her throat scratchy, "but nothing you can fix."

Amy did not reply. She quickly surveyed the room, taking note of the shot glasses and near empty tequila bottle lying forgotten on the floor near the kitchen island. She turned back to Penny, her eyes now sad.

"I received your text message," she said softly, "I didn't know what to do. From the sound of it, I fear we are no longer friends." She held up her phone to Penny who read the words she had sent not too long ago.

~_Its all ur fault Amy! If u just kept ur mouth shut! I hope u r happyyy~ _

"My presence here now, clearly suggests I wish otherwise," Amy continued, unsure of herself as she struggled to look at the woman next to her, "is it something I did? Something I said?" _You just made him want you instead._

Penny's heart ached as she shook her head, "no," she said weakly, "we're still friends."

Amy nodded slowly, her eyes downcast. _Don't be sad because of me._

"I've been pondering the implications of your message," Amy started slowly, "I tried several times to message you back," she glanced at Penny's lonely cell, her texts alerts untouched and unread, "but now I see you're unaware of my concern on the matter."

Penny pushed herself off the door and slouched forward, "I'm aware, Amy," her eyes found the other girl's, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sent that. It was the alcohol talking." She tried to force a reassuring smile, but it came out weak and lopsided, "I'm sorry you came all this way."

"I don't regret my decision," Amy replied shaking her head, her eyes falling on the shot glasses again, "it is clear you need a friend right now."

Penny stared into her friend's open and honest eyes and she felt something inside her break. She nodded quickly as her emotions overcame her again. She leaned into Amy's waiting arms, biting back the tears once again threatening to fall. _Why does she make this even harder? _

"I've been a horrible friend," Penny mumbled into Amy's shoulder after a few minutes.

"I forgive you, Penny," Amy assured her, "you know I can't stay angry with you." _You forgive me?_ _You're the one that took him! _Against her will, Penny's anger rushed back, her fingers curling into claws on Amy's back.

She pulled away, rising clumsily to her feet as she backed toward the couch, her finger pointing accusingly at Amy, "you…you did this…"

"What? What did I do? Tell me," Amy said getting to her feet as well, her expression a mixture of horror and shock. _What haven't you done? _Penny blinked back her tears as a jealous fury pushed its way to the surface_. If you weren't so cute, so smart, so beautiful, so annoyingly wonderful, so perfect for him, then…_

Regretfully and due to her alcohol infused judgment, Penny, her breathing quick, her mind racing with hurtful words and deeds, let loose on her unsuspecting victim, "it's because of you I started this stupid experiment. It's all _your_ fault. You, Amy…you said it would help and now everything's screwed up…you've ruined everything for me."

"You've been conducting an experiment?" Amy questioned cautiously, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Yes," she answered quickly, taken aback by Amy's words. _Of course the scientist would only care about the experiment. _Penny gestured at her notebook lying in a forgotten heap next to her coffee table as she fell back onto her couch.

Amy glanced at the notebook before looking back at Penny. She approached the other woman slowly, moving to sit next to her on the couch. As she spoke, she desperately tried to calm her with a gentle tone and a change in the direction of conversation, "what were the parameters of your experiment?"

Penny shrugged, her eyes closed, her breathing slowing, "I was going to be nice to Shel—someone…for a week. You said it would help because I'm a bully."

Amy shook her head, "that's the past, Penny. You aren't one anymore."

The sincerity in the other girl's eyes made Penny's resolve melt. She hated herself then, for ever being cruel to a friend who did nothing but care about her. A friend that literally offered her a shoulder to cry on while Penny threw words dipped in venom at her. Penny hated that she diverted blame from herself and on to Amy. It was not Amy's fault Sheldon picked her. It was not Amy's fault she was born ridiculously intelligent while Penny with a brain that barely got her through high school math. It was not Amy's fault Sheldon regarded intelligence over physical appeal.

Penny let out a sigh and leaned into Amy's shoulder, her head resting just on top.

"It doesn't matter now," Penny uttered softly, her eyes closing again, "it doesn't matter."

A moment later, Amy tilted her head, resting it lightly on Penny's, "is there something I can do to help with your experiment?"

_Just take care of him, Amy. It's all I ask. Just love him the way he deserves to be._

"No. I'm just…I'm sorry, Amy. I'm sorry about tonight. Forgive me?"

"Of course," Amy answered weakly, her opposite hand moving to smooth back Penny's hair.

"Sheldon…" she whispered, relaxing into Amy as a tear finally escaped her eye. She was too tired to wipe it away, "he was right…he was…Leonard's not…he's not the guy. Sheldon was right…"

Before sleep overcame her again, she swore she heard Amy softly reply, "I know, bestie. I know."

* * *

><p>The morning came quickly, and Penny was grateful she had not overdone it with the alcohol the night before, she woke up with only a slight hangover. She stirred in her bed, not caring how she ended up there, just thankful she had. Sleeping on the couch would have been sore in the morning. Sometime during the night Amy must have half carried, half drag her to the bedroom. Penny pushed off her bed slowly, making her way in a blurry daze to the bathroom, not taking the time to check if Amy was still there. She peeled off her clothes and jumped in the shower.<p>

She closed her eyes, instantly relaxing, basking in the feel of the water against her skin. Even though her behavior late last night and into the early morning hours were not going to be chapters in Penny's Greatest Hits, she did not regret the experience. She needed a good cry, a few shots of tequila and subsequently a heart to heart with her best friend. She was grateful Amy came over last night, even if she wished it was under more not so guilt-wielding circumstances. However, today was a new day and Penny vowed to make the best of it. She was young, she was attractive, and she would get pass her feelings for a simple boy. She just needed to take things in stride. The feelings would not go away over night but she was determined to not allow them to rule her.

Hopping out of the shower, she was careful to remain on her bath rug as she reached for her towel nearby, drying her hair before wrapping it around herself as she exited the bathroom. She made her way to her dresser, pulling out her latest buy from Victoria Secret, a matching set of pink zebra print. After pulling the garments on, she quickly examined herself in the mirror hanging on her closet door. _First step to recovery, make myself feel sexy. _She nodded her approval, even throwing in a smile as she proceeded to look around her bedroom for her robe. She pursed her lips, trying to remember where she had left it. _On the sofa chair. _She combed her fingers threw her hair to make it somewhat orderly as she made her way casually toward the living room.

"Penny!"

She stopped short, her eyes as wide as his, "Sheldon!"

He whirled around instantly, almost toppling over her coffee table, his hands covering his face, "I—I apologize, I should have made my presence known when you woke."

"Ya think?" Penny scowled at him her eyes darting around the room. She adjusted her head to the right to look past him, her eyes falling on her bathrobe lying innocently on her sofa chair, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"Amy and I found it apparent you not be alone in your current condition," he explained quickly.

Penny moved a few steps forward, "fine, just pass me my robe," she ordered, wondering only briefly why she had not made any attempt to cover herself up with her hands when she had first saw him. She would consider it more later.

Sheldon peeked an eye through his fingers at the bathrobe in front of him. He reached gingerly for it with one hand, the other remaining over his eyes. He grabbed hold of it, swinging his arm as far back as he could without turning his body to hand it to her. Penny took it with a half-hearted grumble and secured herself in to it before crossing her arms in front of her and shifting her weight to one leg.

"Okay, explain again, what the hell are you doing here, where's Amy?"

"Are you clothed?" He asked carefully.

"Yes, you can turn around."

She watched his shoulders relax as he did so. He faced her and she could not help the thoughts running through her head. He looked so cute with his cheeks slightly flushed, his lower lip red and pouty. She shook the thoughts away, she would maintain her resolve.

"Explain, Sheldon. Now," she spat, "where's Amy?"

"She was needed elsewhere," he said, swallowing hard, "I am here to relieve her."

She took a few seconds to let his words sink in before she nodded and walked toward her kitchen. She refused to deal with him before her daily dose of coffee. She was about to turn on her coffee maker when she noticed the dishes previously in her sink were now drying in the dish rack. She turned to say something to Sheldon, who remained standing uncomfortably, and that is when she noticed her living room was clear of any traces of the drunken stupor from the night before. Noticing her inquiry, he spoke first.

"I took the liberty of cleaning up after you," he started to explain somewhat uncertainly, and she attributed it to the fact that he knew the threat of physical violence to his person was indeed real, "I refused to sit in such a mess."

She mildly glared at him before letting her façade fall. It was useless, she had not the heart to remain indifferent toward him, "thank you," she said softly, turning back around to continue her preparation.

"If I may," he interjected, stepping forward.

"What," she replied, looking back at him.

"I have already prepared an appropriate meal for you after a night of alcohol consumption," he gestured to her dining table. Placed perfectly in the center on the left side was a plate of scrambled eggs and a neatly sliced banana. Next to it was a tall glass of water and a smaller one of orange juice. She wondered how she had not noticed it before.

"You made me breakfast?" She asked in amazement, stepping out of her kitchen and toward the table.

"Given that it is," he glanced at his watch, "half pass eleven, it would more commonly be considered _brunch_. Or an early lunch if you will."

Penny was speechless. She was so incredibly touched by such a normally audacious gesture, but that was before she reminded herself that this was Sheldon. And with Sheldon she never knew what or why she was getting things when he gave them to her. She gave a curt bout of thanks when she regained her bearings before taking a seat at the table. She reached for the fork lying on a napkin next to the plate, and proceeded to eat.

He took a seat opposite her, much like the countless previous meals they had shared together in her apartment. She ate in silence as she pondered her surprise at how comfortable she was at the moment given the events of last night and the days prior. She found solace in the fact that if all else failed, they were still friends. Best friends. And they would remain so if she had any say in the matter. She may be _in love_ with him now, but she had already _loved_ him for many years. His company in her apartment now was a reassurance of the presence he would continue to maintain in her life. She was grateful for that fact.

After finishing her meal and downing the last of her orange juice she did feel much better. She took a mental note to use the same remedies for future instances of post-tequila mornings. She thanked him again as she cleared her dishes, quickly washing them to ease any anxiety he would have knowing dirty dishes were present in the same room. She dried her hands and returned to the dining table to grab her unfinished glass of water. She proceeded to her sofa, taking a seat and adjusting into a comfortable position. While she did so, out of the corner of her eye she noticed Sheldon was now standing, looking around her apartment, assessing the appropriate place to sit. She smiled, tilting her head to look at him.

"Sit here, sweetie," she said shifting over a little and patting the space of the sofa next to her. Her mind wondered briefly to the day they first met, how she had mistakenly sat in his spot and offered him the seat next to her instead. She found herself smiling at the memory. Like that day, Sheldon obliged, occupying the spot to her left, his fingers nervously fidgeting in his lap. They sat in silence, Penny sipping casually at her water as she continued to use her peripheral vision to watch him. He remained still, his eyes downcast, his breathing slow and sturdy. He seemed deep in his thoughts and Penny knew she would give just about anything to be able to read them.

When the silence became too much, Penny leaned forward to put her glass on the coffee table in front of them and then turned her body toward him on the sofa, moving her left leg so it was now tucked comfortably between them. She felt much better about the state of their relationship and how the recent events would not lead to damaging results. She did not want him to remain in her apartment as if it were something he felt obligated to do now that he knew of her feelings for him. Though she appreciated the consideration, it did no favors to her pride.

"Sheldon, about last night…" she started.

Sheldon shook his head, his eyes still downcast, "Penny, if you prefer not to address the events of last night, I will not object."

Penny let out a sigh of relief, nodding her head.

"However, _I_ would prefer otherwise," he added gently.

"You would?" she asked, her pitch slightly higher than she anticipated. Her eyebrows rose as she stared at the side of his face. She wished he would meet her eyes, it would be so much easier to read him if he did.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I believe there was a misunderstanding that caused you to shut your door in my face."

"Right…I'm sorry about that, I was just…"

"You were angry because I read your journal," he finished.

"No, not angry…embarrassed really."

"Well, I see no reason why you should be."

"Of course _you _don't," she said, smiling weakly as she looked away from him.

Sheldon turned his eyes toward her for the first time since she faced him, "I was under the impression one would be embarrassed had the recipient of said feelings not returned them."

"What…" she said, her gaze quickly returning to him, disbelief advancing uncaringly to her features. Her mind raced with questions, her heart beat quickened, "wait…what are you saying?"

He shifted slightly, turning his body to face her as best he could given his long legs and the confining space of her small sofa. He propped his right arm along the back of the sofa, bending it at the elbow to allow his fingers to intertwine in front of him. He took a deep breath. She held hers.

"Penny, as I have told you before, I am not comfortable with maudlin displays of emotion, especially when it comes to my own. However, taking into account _your_ need to satisfy such inquiries, I will do my best to oblige," his eyes and tone serious, "but first, I believe an explanation is essential."

"Okay," she whispered, mostly to herself. She waited patiently for him to continue.

"As you are aware, I have been keeping a log of my daily social interactions for many years. Four and a half weeks ago, on the eve of one month since the conception of our relationship, Amy and I decided to browse through these logs in hopes of learning ways in which we could improve certain aspects of our relationship. As we did so, she pointed out a pattern in which even I failed to realize. After a long debate and discussion over what my notes suggested, we both thought it mutually beneficial that we terminate our agreement."

Her mind nearly broke. She was surprised she could even get the words out, "you…you guys broke up?" She stuttered, half in denial, half in relief, "a_ month_ ago? How is that possib…I don't understand…"

"For the past month, I've been conducting my own experiment," he continued, ignoring her line of questioning, "a social experiment, one in which Amy suggested I partake in. To accurately conclude her findings in my daily log, she proposed she be a part of the experiment. I reluctantly _agreed_ because I desired to be absolutely certain of the results."

"Sheldon, you're losing me here…you say you broke up with Amy?"

"Yes, we covered that."

"A _month_ ago?" She emphasized. She could not wrap her mind around this recent bit of information, it just could not be possible, "but, you…you guys just celebrated your two month anniversary. I…I took you both shopping…you dragged me to your dinner..." She stumbled through her words.

"All aspects of our experiment," he replied, "in order to acquire the desired results, I needed to maintain the guise of a relationship with Amy."

"Sheldon, I…" she slurred, her mind reeling with incoherent thoughts.

"Here," he said softly, reaching toward the notebook she had not noticed was sitting on the coffee table beside them. He handed it to her as he spoke quietly now, "since I read your notes pertaining to your experiment…I thought it only fair, I share with you my own."

She took the notebook from him, opening it slowly, flipping randomly through the pages, "what is this?"

"Up until the termination of it last night, it is the journal in which I used to catalog everything in reference to my experiment. You may draw your own conclusions and if you find it necessary, we may discuss them afterward."

Without another word, Sheldon's fingers moved toward her, turning the pages to one he desired her to read. Penny swallowed as her eyes lingered on his fingers before settling on his meticulous handwriting.

_Penny brought over a cheesecake. Her eyes resembled a vibrant emerald in color tonight. Eye contact increased exponentially. Penny agreed to Amy's proposal. Phase one complete._

Penny felt her chest tighten. She knew she was starting down a road in which there was no turning back. He was allowing her a glimpse of himself he had never shared with her before. He was allowing her access to his thoughts, ones always hidden from the world.

_Tonight, I took the liberty of complimenting Penny on her physical appearance. As prior observation (e.g. slight tilt of the head and a smile) dictates she was pleased with my assertion._

She looked up at him, "so I wasn't crazy when you said I looked prettier?" she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"I have never thought it necessary to remind you of your physical appeal, you should already be aware," he replied as nonchalant as possible, though the reddening of his cheeks was a clear indicator otherwise.

"But it's nice to be reminded sometimes."

"Noted."

_I have noticed my preference for the color green only became apparent after the introduction of Penny into my social paradigm. Penny was successful in helping to procure a nonessential gift for Amy. _

"So you were spending time with me on purpose this week? So what, you could catalog me?"

"The first few weeks, I had noticed nothing out of the ordinary in my interactions with you so Amy advised we _up the ante _and exhibit more openly the behavior in which a common romantic pair would express. Her reasoning for this course of action was to further note your reactions to them."

_Stuart made it a point to ask of Penny's eligibility yet again. I informed him she was unavailable for the foreseeable future. I did not answer when he questioned with whom she was romantically involved._

"Oh, poor Stuart," Penny sighed.

"I disagree. He is quite capable of acquiring a date. I only ask it be elsewhere…" he swallowed, before adding, "…far from you." _Be still my heart, _Penny beamed.

She met his eyes, holding it for a few seconds as she tried desperately to make sense of everything that was happening, the things he was saying, the words she was reading. They were travelling into uncharted waters together, yet she remained in a state of limbo, not quite accepting her fate, but still lingering in a state of utter denial. Could she really mean more to him than he had always let on? And what about Amy? She had so many questions, but he urged her silently to continue reading. She looked away from him and back down at his notebook.

_I do not condone Amy's course of action tonight. Her attack on my person was indeed ill-advised. However, I noticed an expression on Penny I had not previously encountered. Amy may be on to something._

"When she kissed you…that was for _my_ benefit. To see _my_ reaction," she did not pose her words as questions, mostly allowing the realization to sink in.

"Yes."

She nodded, taking a deep breath before continuing her reading.

_I was concerned for the state of Penny's well-being when I initially arrived at her apartment. I observed a tired physical condition when I approached her to attain a ride to the restaurant. She was reluctant to agree due to the events of her previous attendance. However, after assuring her she is not, forgive my use of the word, a slut, and a reminder that I would provide her an adequate meal, she agreed to the initial proposal. _

_Per Penny's suggestion, Amy purchased a limited edition Batman nightlight to present to me. Penny offered a brief explanation as to how they had acquired such an extraordinary gift. I found myself overwhelmed with the sentiment. _

"You know, I wondered about that," she said, looking up at him again.

"How so?"

"Why you seemed so…reserved…about the night light. I thought you'd be really happy."

"I was," he replied, "but I found it inappropriate to express my gratitude for your awareness of my interests due to the fact that Amy purchased the gift and not you."

"Oh."

_Resemblance to prior instances, I chose to forgo my restrictions on personal space for Penny. She was noticeably startled by my actions when I carried her from her apartment to my own. I cannot accurately conclude if her reaction was a result of my ability to carry her weight or the action itself. Furthermore, I experienced an increase in heart rate and unsavory thoughts._

"Can I ask what these unsavory thoughts were?" Penny inquired, one eye brow shooting up.

"I rather you not," he said, his cheeks flushed again.

She smiled.

_Upon completion of my laundry, I noticed a notebook left alone on the dryer next to the entrance of the room. Upon reading through said notebook it became apparent of Penny's..._

_ …feelings (CROSS OUT)_

_ …opinion of (CROSS OUT)_

_ …view of (CROSS OUT)_

_ My conclusions became apparent. After returning the notebook, I was alarmed to see Penny upset. I am not equipped to deal with such an occasion, however, at the time I recognized a compelling desire to acquire such knowledge. I have drawn the conclusion that, it upsets me when Penny is upset. Thus, Penny cannot be upset, should not ever be upset, if I am to maintain a satisfactory manner of stasis. Penny chose to disregard my attempt to rectify the situation, choosing instead to shut the door in my face._

Penny stopped, allowing herself time to consider the entries she had read.

"So you said you ended the experiment last night. Why last night?"

"Because it was apparent that my experiment upset you, and my attempt to apologize was met with a blatant disregard for social protocol. You shut the door—"

"…in your face, I know. And I said I was sorry about that, I just thought you meant something else."

"How can _I'm sorry_ mean anything else other than, _I'm sorry_?"

"Well, you could've been apologizing for a number of things," Penny countered, "I didn't know you were apologizing because I was upset."

"Then what did you think I was apologizing for?"

She paused, hesitating before she answered, "that you were choosing Amy…and not me." It sounded even sillier out loud. _Like something a teenager would say_, Penny shook her head at the absurdity.

"Penny," he rebuked, "though it is true that I respect Amy as an intellect and as my friend, you are…when it comes to you I…there is no…" he stopped himself, sighing in an apparent frustration, "has my journal not given you adequate evidence of what I have difficulties saying aloud?"

"Yes…no…" she stuttered, "I don't know, Sheldon."

But she did. She knew exactly what he was trying to say without having to actually tell her. He was acknowledging that he harbored feelings beyond that of friendship. The past week he forced himself out of his comfort zone. He allowed Amy to kiss him, to hold his hand, he pushed himself to show his appreciation of Penny's presence in his life, he carried her in his arms for goodness sake. And he did it all for her, to make sure his feelings were reciprocated. His experience, not to her surprise, was initially for his benefit, to protect his interests, however, he had not taken into account how his experiment would affect her. And when he did find out, he immediately ended it. He chose to accommodate her instead of his science. In the end though, he was still able to gather the information necessary to gain an accurate conclusion. Her feelings he had read about in her journal was definitely mutual.

"So, the _pattern_ that you mentioned earlier. The one Amy saw…what was it exactly?" Penny questioned.

Sheldon looked away for a moment, "while at first, my log comprised of daily interactions with Leonard…Raj…and even Howard," he paused a second, his eyes returning to hers, "over the years, I saw it only necessary to include my daily interactions with you. Every entry began with your name and concluded with a question mark following the words, _what does this mean_? The result of my experiment was finally able to answer this question, I finally realized…"

"What? What did you realize?" _Just say it already._

He did not answer, instead choosing to divert the question, "Penny, I am unsure of how I am to proceed in a situation such as the one we have found ourselves in. It is quite different from the agreement I previously had with Amy."

"Why?"

"Because it is _you_," he stated simply, "I am never sure of myself around you and though I have had much distaste for that fact over the years, I have come to accept it as merely…"

"Yes?" she urged.

"…my response to you cannot be accurately measured with science."

"Sheldon," she whispered.

"…It both puzzles and terrifies me," he continued.

It terrified her too at first, that she could feel something so strongly and for Sheldon of all people. They had been friends for years, spent countless days at each other's throats, fighting, finding ways to get on each other's nerves, but Penny knew that for all the bad, Sheldon gave back equally if not more when it came to the good. He was always there when she needed him, helping her make Penny Blossoms, driving her to the hospital when she was injured, loaning her money without a moment's hesitation, listening to her when she needed to vent even when he pretended not to care, he was always quick to offer words of advice. He was always truthful with her and though at times she felt she did not _want_ his advice because it would seem cold or unfeeling, she knew it was what she _needed_ to hear. She did not know exactly when or why or how, but she had fallen completely in love with her best friend, and it only took her seven days to realize it. And apparently, he had known before her, for quite some time that there could be something more between them. Penny found she did not mind, he _was_ a genius after all.

"So to answer your question of the realization I came to…" he met her eyes, his features soft, "we share the same intention…that is…to change…the paradigm of our relationship…" his eyes were round, his tone hopeful, "am I correct in my conclusion?"

Without complete awareness of her actions, she found herself nodding.

"But," she started, regretting that her interruption caused the smile on his face to fall.

"Yes?" he asked hesitantly.

"…I have two conditions," she stated, throwing him a peace sign.

He rolled his eyes, "I anticipated you would," he said stiffly, "what are they then?"

"First, before we make it official, you know, tell everybody and everything, I'll need to speak to Amy."

"She is already aware why I am here with you."

"Yes, I know, but I just need _confirmation_…for myself…before we let everyone else know. I just want Amy to know about it from me."

"All right…" he said, "do as you wish...even though it is hardly necessary."

"Sheldon," she argued, her tone silencing him. She bit her lower lip before continuing, "And second…I'm not signing a contract," she stated firmly, her gaze unwavering as he eyed her with those cool blues of his.

"Penny…"

"I won't, Sheldon. If we're really going to do this…you know…be together…as a couple, then we're going to do this without some silly signed agreement thing."

"Penny…"

"I mean it, Sheldon. If you don't like it, then I'm sorry, but…"

"Penny!" He forced her silence, before finishing calmly, "I accept."

A bright smile spread across her face, her eyes the vibrant emerald he noted previously.

"You're really ready for this?" She uttered, her heart lighter than she had ever experienced before.

"Though I am uncomfortable with your persistence that we proceed without any terms or conditions to adhere to, I am willing…just this once," he asserted, holding up one finger for emphasis, "…to rely on your expertise in this liaison."

"Aren't you the romantic?"

He ignored her, instead, his brow creasing in confusion, "Penny, I have an inquiry I have been meaning to address concerning an occurrence that took place earlier."

She took a few moments to translate his words in her head, "what is it honey?"

"When you first entered the living room. You were dressed merely in your under garments," he started, his eyes unable to meet hers, "I was curious…why you made no attempt to cover yourself up? I was lead to believe being seen in one's underwear, particularly for a female by a member of the opposite sex, would be cause to cover oneself up."

"I did, you handed me my robe…"

"Yes," he said with obvious uncertainty as to why he felt the need to pursue this line questioning, "…but prior to that. You took no action to retreat back into your room or…"

"I didn't think I had to."

"Why?"

She shrugged, "because it's _you_, sweetie."

"Penny, that is hardly an adequate explanation," he argued.

"Besides…" Penny said, lifting his notebook off her lap and placing it on the table next to them. She turned to him again, a sly smile on her lips as she finished, "…you've already seen me naked."

He opened his mouth to protest, but the sudden feel of Penny's lips pressed against his, did not let him.

Sheldon found he did not mind her actions so much.

Penny _was_, a Big Ol' Five, after all.

* * *

><p>Thank you for sticking with me to the end! I'm just relieved it's over, now I can go catch up on all my own Shenny fanfic reading, I've fallen so behind with my favorite stories. Take care guys. Till next time. :D<p> 


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